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Free Dating: Awesome Message Ideas

by Charles L. Jackson


Writing a message to someone on a dating site is something of an art. Sure, if it works for you, why not just say ‘Let’s hook up.’ or ‘Txt me on 12345’, or dull stuff like that. Seriously, are lines like these going to get you RESULTS???


I’m glad you agree. If you want to think outside the square on all this, I urge you to read on.


I’ve put together 5 ways to improve your first message to someone you like on a dating site. There’s probably many more ways than just 5, but let’s keep it simple for now.


So, in no particular order, here’s some ways to improve your response rate on gofishdating.com …


Keep it short

Don’t ramble on and on and on … and tell your whole life story. Ease up, bro!

Writing more than about 3-4 short sentences is probably sending a fairly obvious message: ‘I’m a weirdo’. :-)

Seriously, short and simple is a good starting point. And get that spelling under control. People actually get annoyed by people who can’t spell, or express themselves clearly.

A short message that gets to the point is what you want. Here’s a few examples:


— Hi, I’m Jeff. I’m curious: you said you’re from Spain, but your English is really good. How so?

— You know what, I’m really not sure that I agree with you. Alaska is the best State, by far. Ok, go ahead - prove me wrong!

— I can tell by your photo that you probably going to get a kazillion messages from fairly average joes.

Well, I’m not one of them. I’m actually a genius — at making spaghetti sauce. Impressed?


Make it unique

This is the hard one. Hasn’t every line already been said.

Hell no!  Just look at the examples from above. This is the kind of thing that attracts attention.

Sure, some of them are a bit try-hard. But I only took 20 seconds to write each of ‘em. Just think how polished you could write something given a few hours.

The first message, if you want a better chance of success, really has to be imaginative and interesting.

Otherwise, your target will just trash your message, along with hundreds of others, as ‘just another ordinary message.’


Avoid the cliche

We mean, like, ‘hi how r u?’ and ‘what’s up?’

Those are lame and cheap. You can do better than that. Sure you can. Work it, baby!  Think how you’d like some hottie to approach YOU at a club or party. Something a bit more sophisticated would be a good start.

A good starting point is to actually READ the other person’s profile, and maybe say something interesting about it.


Like these:

— I see that you like Salsa dancing. Big deal. My labrador dances Salsa. Backwards.

— Hmmm, I can tell from your profile photo that you’re probably a cheeky, crazy extroverted flirt. A bit like me. Let’s connect.


Humor might work

But not always. Be careful. Cute can be funny. But gross humour - well, that can be a turn-off.

By gross, I mean ‘gross humor.’ But if that’s your thing, I wish you luck. You’ll need it.


For the rest of us, a dash of humour can certainly liven up conversations in real life, so why not online.

If you’re not all that into jokes and stuff, maybe steer clear of humor. The bottom line here is that your message should reflect (to some extent), ‘you.’ If you’re a guy, rest assured that humor works wonders with the ladies. Trust me on this.

Anyone who can make a woman laugh - in a good way - has a head start.

If you’re stuck for ideas, watch a Robin Williams video. Sad to hear he’s gone, by the way.


Pick up some ideas from the other person’s profile. Ideally, if they’re wacky and a bit oddball, then if you’re like that … you can just oddball them back. No problemo. If they’re serious, then you can try and brighten their day with a bit of humor but maybe they are just all-round serious folks.


Make them want more

Entice. Arouse curiosity. Make yourself sound interesting, without sounding like you’ve got a huge ego. Yeah, it can be done.


The advertising industry is built on the idea of ‘wanting more.’ Oh and let’s not forget my other favourite: ‘a little is good, more must be better.’ Advertisers use all sorts of tactics to get you to spend. So why not take a few hints from their playbook, and apply it to the crazy world of online dating?


Think about your profile’s headline. Does it grab your attention the same way ‘5 simple ways to lose weight’ does?

Well, it should. So work that headline into something snappy and snazzy. I once used a headline, ‘Iron my shirts!’ Truly.

And it worked. I got a lot of interest from women, who were ‘outraged’ at my headline. By ‘outraged’ I mean only kind-of, in a cute way.


In terms of messaging someone, you can think along similar lines. You see a profile of someone and they mention they like yoga, ice cream and beer. So go ahead, make your first message:


—Five ways to make healthy yoga-friendly recipes with beer and ice cream. Message me back for more details!


You get the picture. Creativity is always a good thing. It gets the other person’s imagination fired up. And that’s what you want. Why? Well, if they start imagining YOU in a good way (funny, interesting, creative), then there only a few clicks away  from flicking you a message back when yours arrives in their Inbox.